Later this month I, along with artist Jesse Hibbs, will be releasing our first webcomic, Zombie Zero. I just wanted an opinion or two about the script. Below is the first 11 pages of script. The basis plot is about the first zombie in a worldwide plaque and the living people connected to her.
This is my first script and I'm curious as to the opinion of others in the community.
Thanx for your time.



Page One:


Panel 1: We see a view of a man in a recliner type chair from behind and slightly the left. All we can see is the
back of his head and his legs stretched out in front of him. Before him is a large screen TV. The screen
is blurry (this is so we don't actually see what he's watching, but we know it's no good). He is obviously masturbating, but we don't actually see it, we know from his dialogue. (See P4 for description info)

Dialogue 1: Man- "Uh... uh... uh...UH... AAAHHH...!"

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Panel 2: Split panel. Left side- Close-up of hand pulling tissue from a box (This confirms the action in panel 1).
Right side- Close-up of other hand pointing TV remote at TV.

SFX1: CLICK!

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Panel 3: Front view close up, man is now standing and zipping his fly. Close-up view is from the waist down.

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Panel 4: Rear view of man from behind walking toward a door to the rear of the room, which is furnished like a typical
living room. There is a large aquarium against the far wall with a large painting of a sad clown above it
(this detail is VERY IMPORTANT!) It is also imperative the man's face NOT be shown. His hair must be a
run-of-the-mill men's style and color.

D2: Man- "Guess it's time to get it done..."

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Panel 5: View from behind. He opens the door and he is silhouetted against the darkness of the room he's about to
enter.

D3: Man- "Was fun while it lasted."

SFX2: CREEEAK!

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Panel 6: View now from inside the room looking out at the man as he reaches in to flip on the light. He stands in the
doorway, features remaining in shadow to hide his identity to the viewer.

SFX3: CLICK!

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Page Two:


Panel 1: Full Page Splash. Man's view into the room. It is furnished solely with an old, stained matress in the middle
of the floor. On the matress is a young girl*. Her hands are tied in front of her and she is gagged. Her eyes
are closed and her blouse is torn at the shoulder, blonde hair disheveled. She is wearing a skirt that comes
just above her knee. There is an obvious red mark across her neck, signifying she's been strangled.

D1: Man- "Really wish I could keep ya a couple more days, sweetie. But you're startin' to stink up the place an' I don't want the neighbors askin' questions."

Lettering: This is the title page with the title located at the top along with credits.
Title: Zombie Zero. Subtitle: In the beginning...

* I know you have reservations of a girl aged 11 or 12. I think sticking to this will add to the impact of the
story. But if you feel strongly enough about it we can make her an older teenager.

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Page Three:

Panel 1: Man reaches for a trashbag on the floor by the girl's feet.

D1: Man- "*Sigh*... It's a damn shame to waste such a cutie in the landfill..."

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Panel 2: He now straddles the girl's chest. The view looking down from behind and slightly from the left.

D2: Man- "... But first, howzabout a little somethin' to remember you by?"

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Panel 3: Close up view of the girl's profile, the man's lips are inches from her face. His tongue is out slightly,
moistening his upper lip.

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Panel 4: Same view as previous panel, only now her eyes are open!

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Panel 5: Extreme close-up of the man's eyes as they widen in shock and terror.

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Panel 6: View from the sidewalk of the front stoop of the man's apartment building. Several passersby are walking
past, going about their business.

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Panel 7: Same view as previous panel, only now front door burts open and the man is running out the door, his feet are
not even touching the steps he's moving so fast! His head is looking over his left shoulder, again hiding
his identity. The people on the sidewalk watch him, curiously.

D3: Man- "AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

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Panel 8: Again, same view as the man runs down the street and the onlookers are now looking at the front door to the
building.

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Page Four:

Panel 1: Half page splash. The dead girl now stands in the doorway, still tied up and gagged. Her eyes are

zombiefied.

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Panel 2: Dead girl's view of the street and sidewalk. People are staring at her with their mouths hanging open.

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Panel 3: Close-up of woman on sidewalk. She has her cell phone to her ear and she appears frantic as she says...

D1: woman- "Hello... police?!"


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Page Five:

Panel 1: The dead girl is now standing on the sidewalk. No one knows she is a zombie. A police officer is
untying her hands. The gag has been removed. She appears confused as she stares blankly straight ahead.
A croud has gathered but is being kept back by a second officer.

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Panel 2: Scene now inside the back of an ambulance. The girl is lying on the gurney, still simply staring straight
ahead. An EMT is working on her while the officer who untied her is watching.

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Panel 3: Outside view of the ambulance, lights flashing, speeding through traffic on its way to the hospital.

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Panel 4: Rear view of ambulance backing up to emergency room sliding doors. ER doctors and nurses are waiting.

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Panel 5: Rear doors of the ambulance burst open and out jumps the zombified cop and EMT, arms outstretched. The EMT
has a piece of his neck bitten off, the cop is missing a chunk of his cheek.

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Panel 6: The zombie cop and EMT tear into the ER doctors and nurses. Blood is spurting everywhere as they rip chunks
of flesh with their teeth. People are in the background screaming and panicking.

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Panel 7: View of the back of the ambulance. The girl is standing at the open doors, watching the carnage before her.
Her face remains expressionless and zombified. Her mouth and chin are covered in blood.

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Panel 8: View of zombie girl walking away down a sidewalk. People are running past her toward the viewer. They are running
toward the commotion at the ER. Dialogue is free-floating.

D1: "NO... NO!

D2: "Oh God... Why?!"

D3: "Somebody help me!"

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Page six:

Panel 1: Now we are in the living room of the dead girl's parents' apartment. Dad and another man are sitting on the
couch. Dad is leaning forward with his head in his hands. The other man, a PI, just sits there trying to
look sympathetic. Mom is standing by the window looking out, back to the viewer. Her arms are crossed, palms
gripping her upper arms as if hugging herself.

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Panel 2: Close-up of Mom, more of her face is visible, not quite in profile... she is looking out the window and
down to the street. There are tear streaks on her cheek and she appears distraught.

D1: Mom- "She's out there, you know..."

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Panel 3: View now centered on the couch where Dad and PI are sitting. Dad's head is still in his hands. The PI is
looking over his shoulder toward Mom.

D2: Dad- "Honey... please!"

D3: PI- "Mrs. Prince, I understand your need to hold onto hope... You must know that the police are doing
all they can to find Molly. There's so little for me to go on and they don't appreciate a PI poking into
their business."

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Panel 4: View back to Mom... same as panel 2.

D4: Mom- "I can feel her... she wants her mommy. I should be out looking for her."

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Panel 5: Medium close-up of PI. He is running his hands through his hair, obviously exasperated from dealing with
the distraught parents.

D5: PI- "Please, Mrs. Prince. This isn't helping. The police told you it's best if you stay here in case--."

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Panel 6: Medium close-up of Dad. He is angry and now yelling, facing the PI and pointing in front of him toward
the TV.

D6: Dad- "In case WHAT?! No one cares anymore! It's been over a week, and NOTHING! They don't even talk about
her in the news anymore! Look!"

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Panel 7: View of the TV screen showing the blurry security footage of the inside of the hospital. A female patient
wearing a hospital gown is being attacked by a large man in street clothes. He is biting her neck, his back
to the camera. A reporter is speaking...

D7: Reporter- "... gruesome footage taken from Mercy Hospital as multiple attacks are being reported. Police
have cordoned off the entire block as SWAT teams converge on the hospital. Preliminary reports indicate..."

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Panel 8: Medium close-up of PI. He is hanging his head and sitting stooped on the edge of the couch.

D8: PI- "What is it you want me to do, Eric?"

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Page seven:

Panel 1: Close-up of Eric Prince, his expression is pleading... eyes wide, eyebrows arched, mouth slightly open.

D1: Eric Prince- "Find my daughter... PLEASE!"

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Panel 2: PI is standing at the door to leave. His hand is on the doorknob and he is turned back to look at the Princes.

D2: PI- "I'll do what I can. You know I will. You two stay here by the phone. If the police call, let me know.
I want to be here if they question you again."

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Panel 3: PI is walking down a dimly lit stairwell. He is rubbing his eyes with one hand and holding the banister with
the other.

D3: (THOUGHT BALLOON) PI- "Why didn't I just stick to taking pictures of cheating husbands?"

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Panel 4: PI is at the exit door. His back is to the viewer and he is reaching for the doorknob.

D4: (THOUGHT BALLOON) PI- "Still... there are way more hazardous jobs than this."

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Panel 5: View from outside the apartment building, looking up the stairs at PI standing in the open doorway. He
appears shocked at whatever he's looking at in the street. His mouth hangs open and his eyes are wide.

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Panel 6: PI's view of the street. A zombie is on it's knees feeding on a torso. There is a trail of blood leading to
the torso indicating the lower part of the body has been ripped off and dragged away.

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Page Eight:

Panel 1: View returns to PI, who has now drawn his gun and is aiming it at the street zombie. His eyes remain wide
and he yells out...

D1: PI- "Oh &%#@!... DON'T MOVE! LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS!"

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Panel 2: Extreme close-up of street zombie's face as he now takes notice of fresh meat. Blood and gore are dripping
from its mouth. His face is torn apart, which further confuses PI.

D2: Street zombie- "Hunh?"

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Panel 3: Wider shot of street zombie as it stands and begins to hobble toward PI.

D3: Street zombie- "uuunh!"

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Panel 4: PI squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth as if he really doesn't want to fire his gun. But he does.
A flash roars from the barrel of the gun.

D4: PI- "Don't! I said...!"

SFX1: BANG!

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Panel 5: The bullet slams into the zombies right pec. A shower of blood shoots forward and a smaller shower out
its back as the bullet exits. The zombies eyes close more out of instinctual reaction, there is no other
expression on its face.

SFX2: PFFT!

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Panel 6: Close-up of PI's face as he opens his eyes. His expression is shocked as he sees that the bullet failed
to drop the zombie.

D5: PI- "What the %$#@?"

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Panel 7: *This panel will work as a double-wide panel taking up the whole bottom quarter of the page*
Street-level view from behind the zombie as it continues to move toward PI, who we see is frozen on
the stoop of the apartment building.

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Page Nine:

Panel 1: View back to inside the foyer/stairwell. PI has run in and is throwing his body against the door while
slamming it shut.

D1: PI- "On second thought... maybe I'll stay a little longer!"

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Panel 2: View from above the stairwell looking down as PI runs back up the stairs to the Princes' apartment.

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Panel 3: You can put this scene together however you want. PI is bursting through the door of the Princes' apartment.
Eric and Mom are still where he left them. Eric lifts his head in reaction to the intrusion. Mom continues
to gaze out the window. *It should be a double wide panel.*

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Panel 4: Close up of Eric. He appears confused as he asks...

D2: Eric Prince- "Ryan? What the hell do you think you're doing?"

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Panel 5: Eric's view from the couch of PI walking towards him with long strides. PI is pointing downward in the
direction he believes the front door to the street is. He is confused and bordering on panic...

D3: Ryan Blake- "Down there... I just... He was eating a... person!"

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Panel 6: Front view of Eric, looking confused on the couch, we see Ryan's legs as he speeds by Eric on his way to Mom.

D4: Eric- "What?! What are you talking about?"

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Panel 7: Ryan leans past Mom and looks out the window to the street. She is still in the same position as before with
her arms crossed.

D5: Ryan Blake- "Oh my God!"

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Page Ten:

Panel 1: Ryan's view of the street below. A zombie is digging into a still living victim on the opposite sidewalk.
The victim is trying to escape, but the zombie isn't about to lose its dinner. In the middle of the street
is the bottom half of the torso the street zombie Ryan shot was eating. There is a blood trail to it and
two other zombies are crawling toward it.

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Panel 2: Forward view of Ryan and Mom looking out the window. (this view is as if the window was the observer) Mom
is still staring blankly and Ryan turns to her, obviously angry.

D1: Ryan Blake: "You saw all this happening and didn't warn me?!"

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Panel 3: Ryan's view of Mom as she turns her head to him. She has a look of pure distain on her face...

D2: Mom- "Does it look at all like I care anymore, Mr. Blake?"

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Panel 4: Extreme close-up of Ryan's face, looking both shocked and pissed...

D3: Ryan Blake- "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

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Panel 5: View of Eric rising from the couch, looking pissed himself...

D4: Eric Prince- "Don't talk to my wife like that!"

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Panel 6: View back to Ryan and Mom at the window. She is, once again, staring out. Ryan is now facing Eric, who is

off-panel to the left.

D5: Ryan Blake- "Listen... does the door downstairs to the street lock?"

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Page Eleven:

Panel 1: Eric is just standing in front of the couch, looking at Ryan with a 'what the %$#@ is wrong with you' look.

D1: Eric Prince- "No, why?"

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Panel 2: Ryan is pulling Eric to the window by his arm.

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Panel 3: View from outside the window looking in. Mom is on the right, still unmoved, Ryan is on the left, still
holding Eric's arm, who is between Ryan and Mom. Ryan, with an annoyed expression, is looking at Eric, whose
eyes widen as he looks down at the street. He appears dumbfounded.

D2: Eric Prince- "...Oh."


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Panel 4: Over Eric's shoulder view of Ryan. His teeth are gritted in a sneer and he is pissed.

D3: Ryan Blake: "Yeah, 'Oh'. Get on the TV and find out what the %$#@ is going on. I'm going back down to bar
the door. How many apartments are in this building?"

D4: Eric Prince: "J-just three. One on each floor."

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Panel 5: close-up view of Ryan from the shoulder up. He is walking away, presumably toward the door, and looking
over his shoulder back at Eric *who would be the viewer*. His expression is grim determination.

D5: Ryan Blake- "Lock the door behind me. I'll warn your neighbors. Don't open the door for anybody who
doesn't identify themselves. Call the police and tell them to get their asses here now!"

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Panel 6: Close-up of Eric. He looks a little less dumbfounded now, as if he's finally snapping out of his fog.

D6: Eric Prince- "I will. What do you think is going on?"

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Panel 7: View of the door after it has closed. Ryan is on the other side and talking through it...

SFX1: SLAM!

D7: Ryan Blake: "The end of the world!"