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Thread: SEB-standard: Week 21 - Gone in a FLASH!!

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    SEB-standard: Week 21 - Gone in a FLASH!!

    Ok, it’s Wedne--- er, Ok, fine. It’s Saturday.

    Perhaps you noticed that SEB-standard was missing this week. Or perhaps, you were too busy reading the BETTER column, like either of Forby’s columns, or Matt’s, or Brad’s cover gallery; and therefore never noticed my absence.

    Meanies.

    Anyway, Wednesday was April Fool’s day, and, while the temptation to do a prank column WAS overwhelming, I had other responsibilities. I was at my LCS, FAMOUS FACES & FUNNIES, taking part in the great Flash race.

    So, sit back, and enjoy a very special column, featuring not only the recap of a fun time event at a comic shop, but a video chronicling my epic failure! That’s right, filmed in new humiliate-a-scope, we’ve got the whole thing for ya!

    So, one day, while discussing the then upcoming FLASH: REBIRTH #1, FF&F employee, Shaun, and I were brainstorming event ideas. One of mine was the FLASH A NEIGHBOR event, which would have involved people taking pictures of themselves in FLASH t-shirts in public places, and putting them on the FAMOUS FACES & FUNNIES MySpace page.

    Well, I liked it!

    My second Idea was that we should hold a FLASH race, with someone representing Barry and Someone representing Wally. People could place bets, and if your Flash won you’d win prizes. Shaun & fellow employee Jared loved the idea. Evil Rick Shea, owner and operator of FF&F, signed on and tweaked the event so that ANYONE in a Flash shirt would get a 10% discount on their day’s purchase, while winning betters would be randomly selected for $20 gift cards! Pretty cool, all around.

    So, Wednesday, April 1st 2009, at 6:00 pm, Shaun (Wally), Jared (Bart), and myself (Barry) raced across the parking lot to touch the WALGREENS wall and back. Now, how does an overweight 36 (37 next month) year old beat a 24 year old (Jared) and an ALMOST 21 year old (Shaun)? Let’s not forget that Shaun’s legs come up to my shoulder and he actually runs regularly, while my poor body had to go from 30 years of stagnation (I was active until I was 7) to sprinting across a parking lot!

    So, suffice it to say, I don’t win. Shaun wins, with Jared as a close second. I come in several minutes later, kind of walk-running. But, the video will reveal all. The highlights include, a cameo appearance by ‘Bella, my 3 year old, and the impact between me & Shaun! It’s like Nascar! For one brief moment, it stops being a FLASH RACE and becomes the epic battle of SPEEDBALL versus BOUNCING BOY. Good times!

    Watch the whole thing for a repeat crash in SLOW-MOTION. Very Matrix.

    And, yes, feel free to post mocking comments. Remember, I’ve taught 6th-9th grade for the past 7 years. I am immune to embarrassment! Well, not immune…more like desensitized, but you get my drift!

    Oh, yes...not the old school Justice League pajama bottoms, I'm rockin'! What!!?? I don't own any sweatpants!

    Last edited by SebastianPiccione; Saturday, April 04, 2009 at 01:59 PM.
    "Living Robert Venditti's Plan B!"

    CAT. 5



  2. Dingo Guest

    The video isn't working for me sorry. EDIT: WORKING NOW

    But since your desensitized, if you were racing a 21 year old and a 24 year old perhaps you should have been representing Jay, not Barry.



  3. Dingo Guest

    Those pants, are they comic panels?



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    Yes, they are comic panels! Images of the late 70s era Justice League!

    And I couldn't find a pie plate that fit my head!
    Last edited by SebastianPiccione; Sunday, April 05, 2009 at 07:07 PM.
    "Living Robert Venditti's Plan B!"

    CAT. 5



  5. JohnLees Guest

    So should we take this as an official confirmation that Wally West leaves Barry Allen in the dust?



  6. Join Date
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    I would take it more of an affirmation that betting on me in a physical competition is a stupid move.
    "Living Robert Venditti's Plan B!"

    CAT. 5



  7. MattGrant Guest

    I tried that "Flash A Neighbor" thing... yeah... someone called the cops.

    -----

    The video. Is awesome. I particularly love the part where you guys bump and you do this ever-so-brief "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!" look before continuing. That... was gold to me.



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    I think, the bump is the only reason my heart is still beating after running the first half!

    Besides, I HAD to take the hit.........it gave me an obvious excuse for losing so badly! It's like throwing a race you were already losing. :cool:
    "Living Robert Venditti's Plan B!"

    CAT. 5



  9. DavidPaul Guest

    Do this: Dress in a Flash costume and run as fast as you can, yelling, "ZOOM ZOOM!" Then post it on YouTube.



  10. tiggerpete Guest

    you mean like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory?



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