A reply now that I'm reading the edit extensively.. Any reply from Steven would be appreciated. I just told my manager at work today that anyone I ever learned from was someone who pushed me, talked shit to me, threw me down. All the people who praise you are worthless.
I actually threw in the bit cause I was worried you'd call me on a moving panel. Eek. Guess it wasn't worth elaborating on.(I think we all know what “approaching” means…)
I actually was planning on throwing in some monologue into page 1, if it turned into a one page spread or not.. Basically introducing the main character and his circumstances (A lack of sleep can lead to a lot of shit.. I've been awake for 48 hours now..) But I figured you'd take the monologue as being from Mal... In which case it'd throw the story off a bit? Adding it in would, in the one hand, add to the whole 'is this real or fake thing?' Ever read about the kinds of things that a lack of sleep alone could induce? Aside from being stuck in a zombie infested chaos? The brain is capable of some scary things as is.You could have started this on P1, and then I wouldn’t have screamed in agony. I instead would have been watching to make sure you kept it up through the script.
I thought zombies only liked "alive" / "living" meat? Maybe? I dunno.. I mean in zombie movies you see A. a lot of corpses, and B. a lot of zombies, zombies that aren't frantically chasing the static corpses... So maybe, just maybe?Is it still connected to his body? If she's a zombie, why is she not eating him? She did call him meat, after all.
I guess I could have worded it singular, 'Eye' but I figured 'eyes' would be easier to catch on to, IE the nose up towards the eye brow area? Whether one is closed or not shouldn't *really* matter? One being open, staring down the barrel of a gun seems more menacing... Which is what I meant. But I guess I typed it wrong. For the record I think I must've been drunk when I wrote that script. I forget. I guess an open eye and one closed eye socket no longer counts as 'eyes?' My bad.No. You can’t have a closeup of his eyes. One eye is looking through the scope, the other eye is closed.
I guess that's it. I like hearing my stories are crap. I think it motivates me. As I mentioned, that manager of mine is a beast. He freaks out from time to time, and some workers go crawl up in a ball and cry themselves to sleep. THAT'S when you learn.
Not when you're walking down the street in a leather jacket with your head held high, or driving that '10 Chevy Camaro. That's all garbage. You learn and you get better when you're on the bottom..
And as inane or pseudo-gay as it sounds, hearing Steven bash my scripts somehow motivates me. I guess that's the whole point, right? Woo. Anyway... Anything else bashing my script I'll agree with. It's a decent idea / piece of a bigger puzzle done with no effort at all. I'll try it again sometime.