Another excellent review, Steven. I think you hit it on the head with your "this isn't film" comment. A lot of the panel descriptions read like scene descriptions from movie or TV. That being said, I do think writing static panels can one of the most difficult things to pick up when writing for comics. I always use the analogy of running through my script like a movie in my head, then freezing the frames of the most important scenes and writing them down.
Also, I had no idea who Danny Dyer was or what a nonce was. It's a regional thing, but if you have an American editor he might ask you about.