Right, here's script number two. I'm fully aware of how awful this one is, this was mainly just me having a bit of fun. Also, since my other script was 8 pages, I made this one 4 pages to even out the balance. Or more accurately, because its past 1am and I want to go to bed rather than write two more pages!
THE DUBIOUS DEATH OF DENNIS DREYFUSS
PAGE ONE (3 panels)
Panel 1. A large panel taking up the majority of the page, also to allow room to accommodate the enormous title. This is an interior establishing shot of a cosy little café on a busy street corner. It’s a bright summer afternoon, and so the light fills the café, creating a warm, welcoming atmosphere. In the extreme foreground, we see staff busy at work behind the counter. There are two tables on either side of the door, each rested against full-length glass panes with a view of the street outside. On the table to the left of the door, a rowdy group of teens laugh and talk amongst themselves, while a middle-aged waitress puts their plates on the table. On the table to the far right of the café, a lone man in a black coat, with a black fedora hat and shades, sits bolt upright on his seat, staring ahead intently. In the centre of the panel, standing in front of the open door, clutching a briefcase tightly against his chest, is Dennis Dreyfuss.
Title. THE DUBIOUS DEATH OF DENNIS DREYFUSS
Panel 2. Medium shot of Dennis, anxiously looking out the window, as he edges his way into the table to the right of the door, about to sit on the chair facing the door.
CAP: SAY HELLO TO DENNIS DREYFUSS.
Panel 3. Dennis is now sitting on the chair, still clutching the briefcase. He looks terrified. Now that he is seated, in the background behind him we can see the man in black, glaring at the back of Dennis’ head.
CAP: TWO MINUTES FROM NOW… HE WILL BE DEAD.
PAGE TWO (5 panels)
Panel 1. Medium shot of Lou, the chef, and Margie, the middle-aged waitress, standing behind the counter. Lou is leaning against the open door leading back into the kitchen, as if he’s only just stepped out for a quick word.
LOU: THERE GOES THAT OVEN AGAIN. THAT THING’S TEMPREMENTAL, MARGIE.
MARGIE: I TELL YA, LOU, ONE A’ THESE DAYS YER GONNA SWITCH THAT OVEN ON, AND THE WHOLE GOSHDARN CAFÉ’S GONNA JUST… BLOW UP!
Panel 2. A medium shot of Dennis. He now has the suitcase sat on the table, with his fingers tightly gripping the table’s edge. He looks outside the window, as if keeping an eye out for some dangerous individual chasing him. Behind him, Margie sits coffee down in front of the man in black.
Panel 3. Margie is now standing next to Dennis, looking down at him with a notepad in her hand. Dennis is gawking up at her open-mouthed, recoiled back against the window with fright.
MARGIE: WHAT CAN I GET YA, HONEY?
DENNIS: AAAH! UH…I… COFFEE! I’LL TAKE A COFFEE.
Panel 4. Close-up of the man in black, as he takes a loud slurp of his coffee.
Panel 5. Close-up of Dennis, his eyes widening in terror, big beads of sweat trickling down from his forehead.
PAGE THREE (9 panels)
Panel 1. Close-up of Dennis, as he looks over his shoulder at the source of the slurping.
Panel 2. Close-up of the man in black, smirking knowingly at him.
Panel 3. Close-up of the briefcase on the table.
Panel 4. Close-up of Dennis’ terrified face.
Panel 5. Close-up of the man in black’s hand reaching into the pocket of his coat.
Panel 6. Extreme close-up of the sunglasses covering the man in black’s eyes.
Panel 7. Extreme close-up of Dennis’ widened, bloodshot eyes.
Panel 8. Close-up of the man in black holding the tiny teddy bear key-ring he has just taken out from his pocket.
MARGIE: THAT GOSHDARN OVEN, AGAIN!
Panel 9. Close-up of Dennis, slumping back in his seat and smiling with relief.
PAGE FOUR (2 panels)
Panel 1. A long shot of a GIANT F**KING GRIZZLY BEAR crashing through the glass pane right next to Dennis, who looks like he’s just crapped his pants.
Panel 2. In the foreground, we have a medium shot of the man in black as he looks over his shoulder, looking directly out at the reader. Behind him, in the background, the GIANT F**KING GRIZZLY BEAR mauls Dennis to death while Margie and the group of teenagers look on in horror.
MAN IN BLACK: DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING, DID YOU?
:BOTTOM CAP: FIN.