Nicely done, Calvin. Nicely done.
I liked how you cut the first panel description down to 116 words. You probably could have gone under 70, if you wanted to. Roman's design isn't a necessary part of the script. That should be worked out between the artist and writer before the artist even starts a page.
I also think that the emotions you suggested aren't the ones needed. They're still hard to draw. It's easier to show "guilt" AFTER an action has been taken. It comes across a lot better. Right here, I think "shock" would be better. It gives both a sense of "what the hell?" while also possibly allowing an edge of "I didn't mean it!", depending on the reader.
Lots of good catches in here.
The dialogue. TOO "on the nose," but tolerable, like you said. (And you should be happy. I read some dialogue yesterday that had my brains leaking from my ears, nose, AND eyes.) It's at least giving a frame to work with later. That's always good.
Overall, I think you hit the highlights of this pretty well. Good catches, good questions being asked. You've come a long way, and should be proud.