Panel 1. A shot of an African savannah with Himba natives in the foreground going about their day to day business.
Narration: Namibia, Africa, 1969.
Panel 2. A shot of the first Woodstock, with hippies making love, partying, enjoying life.
Narration: Bethel, New York, 1969.
At first I thought about bridging the gaps between American culture and African culture... That whole, how far have we come in 200 years? And to think some tribal cultures are in the same place they were in 2,000 years ago. Who's right? Then I realized keeping the same place (Doing an Africa, 1439, Africa, 2043) wouldn't have passed since you wanted two different spaces. So then instead of paralleling times, I figured I'd parallel places. What were they doing in Namibia when our hippies were making dirty public love in 1969? Something similar? Or totally different?
Panel 1. A wide out shot of the Las Vegas strip.
Narration: Las Vegas... When you need something to do, come here...
Panel 2. A medium shot of the lit up McDonalds on the Las Vegas strip with our narrator seated in one of the windows.
Narration: ...And when you've run outta stuff to do in Vegas and you get hungry for McDonalds fries? Well, then come here.
It could fail because the second panel may NOT necessarily be in Vegas. There could be a DRASTICALLY similar scene in another town in another country, though I highly doubt it. The McDonalds on the Las Vegas strip is pretty hit or miss. I feel this one passes since it bridges the Las Vegas strip to the McDonalds on the strip. If it's not obvious, the narration could switch to something like, 'If you're ever lost in Las Vegas... ...Just find the McDonalds on the strip.' I think that'd clarify where we are in both panels if there were any doubts.
Panel 1. Jimmy is stranded in an avalanche. Over the shoulder shot, of him waving to the background of the image, which is just a snow covered mountain.
Jimmy: When I was stuck in that avalanche on the Wrangell Mountains of Alaska...
Panel 2. Similar shot, though Jimmy is now wearing a bathing suit and is standing off the coast of a beach. A palm tree is in the foreground.
Jimmy (continued): ...I couldn't help but wish I was back in Waieli, Hawaii during spring break.
PS: Just wanted to say to Lee, great job with the article. You posted a mention before of how you won't be helpind me / us on this particular topic in the future, which is understandable. But you said you've gotten a few comments about that comment. They thought you were ending the column, but you reiterated that it's just this particular lesson which will end... Which is totally understandable.
The article has come a long way and I hope you keep it going for a very long time. If I can imagine myself on the path to success, or being a well-off published writer someday, and I can come back online here and see the article is still going, that'd be a great feeling. To think, on the other hand, that someday in the future I'll still be a wannabe writer sitting on his living room chair staring at his computer screen, and there aren't any new updates over here? That'd be depressing.
I just thought about it for a second, and I understand articles are a tough thing to do. You can update them weekly for a VERY long time and it seems to hit a point where the same people commenting are the same people commenting every week. But the thing about the internet is you gotta realize how valuable this information is to EVERYBODY. Not just us, not just the ones you hear from on a daily basis, or just from the number of reads you posts get. Five years from now some high school kid will come across this very post and learn something in order to become the next Alan Moore.
That is why I stress keep this thing going. I thought about how to spread the word. Maybe ads, maybe mentions on other forums. I dunno if that's something you'd want, more viewers, or whatnot... But I think the word of mouth route is so easy to go about, all of us readers should let our fellow aspiring comics creators know about this little diamond in the rough Lee has got going here. I don't know.
But if you have thought about giving it up, Lee, please don't. Your articles are teaching SO MUCH to people who don't even admit that they are learning from them, let alone post every so often. If you feel you don't get the feedback, or the views this forum deserves, just stick with it. You mentioned a while back, thinking about killing it, and I'm so glad you didn't decide to go through with it. It took a while for me to start posting replies again, but just know the ones posting every week, the ones trying to redo their assignments, and the ones to just stop by and say hello... They are just a tip off the ole iceburgh. There are SO MANY more who, for whatever reason, choose to stay quiet in hopes of learning without typing. I ask you, Lee, to keep this going for a VERY long time and let the anonymous ones hold onto their identities... But I also ask you, the readers, to go ahead and become contributers. Thanks again, Lee. I have learned so much while continuously reading your updates and following along with the posts by the week. I only wish many other people can learn this easily too.