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Thread: Silence Is Golden: a workshop, Part 2

  1. drgerb Guest

    As far as not coming back to alternating images, you did it well, except in PG 1, panels 1 & 3, which both show the moon.
    Sigh, yeah. I did that, regretfully, and AGAIN, in favor of storytelling. I felt having the same thing in there kind of brings it back to the first panel / takes the reader further into my story. Even when I did realize what I was doing, I did it anyway for the sake of the story. Gah. That's the biggest thing I gotta work on and I will here on out. I felt I did a good job at trying to avoid camera angles, but the whole listening to my own editor thing / putting the story on hold in favor of learning the assignment... That's still my problem.

    Welcome to the world of commercial writing, where you've got a job to do, and sometimes you have to "kill your darlings" to do it successfully.
    ..Makes me want to cry.



  2. LeeNordling Guest

    Quote Originally Posted by drgerb View Post
    ..Makes me want to cry.
    It shouldn't.

    Look at how far you've come since we began.

    Look at what you know now that you didn't know then.

    Look at how increasingly self-aware you're becoming.

    All of this is good, because, at the end of the day, the course grade for Comics Pro Prep doesn't go on your CV.

    --Lee



  3. danialworks Guest

    Comic Trim

    Panel 1.

    A single cell organism.

    Panel 2.

    A small fish swimming.

    Panel 3.

    A small lizard on a rock.

    Panel 4.

    A marsupial on a tree branch.

    Panel 5.

    A lion chases and elk.

    PAGE TWO

    Panel 1.

    A wolf pack running together in a forest.

    Panel 2.

    A primitive man sharpens a rock.

    Panel 3.

    Britons with spears surround a wild boar.

    Panel 4.

    A knight on a horse.

    Panel 5.

    A WWI pilot climbing into his plane.


    * * *

    Ok, that's as free-versed as I can get it... a bit of structure, coming forward through time to connect the dots. A VERY loose progression popping into my head. No story to speak of, nothing repeated... might be better if an entirely different animal was featured in each panel, but that would have lost the free verse, I think.



  4. LeeNordling Guest

    Danial's grade:

    PASS with a GOLD STAR.

    For others...that's all you had to do, proving, I think, that many of you not submitting ideas or trying too hard and tripping on that effort needed to rethink your usual starting place...which is story.

    A hand raises in back.

    "Yes?" I ask.

    "But YOUR ideas had story."

    Yes, they did, but that's because I'm really comfortable with this process, and, more importantly, because I wanted to see who would get here without me needing to light the way.

    Creating often involves repeating a process, and part of what we're trying to do here is demonstrate that the editorial goals often dictate the need to examine the BEST starting place.

    This way you have the best opportunity to do the best job and make the best piece of sequential art, based on the assignment.

    Nice work, Danial.

    --Lee



  5. RonaldMontgomery Guest

    PAGE 1
    Panel 1: A dot in the upper left hand of a square.

    Panel 2: A circle.

    Panel 3: The dot in the upper right hand of the square.

    Panel 4: A triangle.

    Panel 5: The dot in the lower left hand of the square.

    Panel 6: Circle and triangle overlap.


    PAGE 2
    Panel 1: The dot in the lower right hand of the square.

    Panel 2: A dot in the upper corner of a triangle.

    Panel 3: A circle.

    Panel 4: The dot in the lower right corner of a triangle.

    Panel 5: A square.

    Panel 6: The dot in the lower left corner of a triangle.

    Panel 7:Circle and square overlap.



  6. LeeNordling Guest

    Ronald's grade:

    FAIL.

    While you got cute and tried to reduce this assignment to simple geometric figures, you got SO cute that you forgot the assignment.

    PAGE 2
    Panel 1: The dot in the lower right hand of the square.

    Panel 2: A dot in the upper corner of a triangle.

    ***

    Two dots in sequence.

    'nuff said.

    --Lee



  7. RonaldMontgomery Guest

    Quote Originally Posted by LeeNordling View Post
    Ronald's grade:

    FAIL.

    While you got cute and tried to reduce this assignment to simple geometric figures, you got SO cute that you forgot the assignment.

    PAGE 2
    Panel 1: The dot in the lower right hand of the square.

    Panel 2: A dot in the upper corner of a triangle.

    ***

    Two dots in sequence.

    'nuff said.

    --Lee
    Hmm...that's fair. My intent was that they were different dots...but the reader will connect the dots their own way!



  8. LeeNordling Guest

    Quote Originally Posted by RonaldMontgomery View Post
    Hmm...that's fair. My intent was that they were different dots...but the reader will connect the dots their own way!
    Well, Ronald, this is an exercise in clarity and intent.

    Had you written "different dot" it would have been a pass, but you didn't, and it wasn't, and I hope everybody continues to learn from how many ways we can not be clear about what we intend.

    Thanks for playing.

    --Lee



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