I noticed almost right off the bat that some of those panel descriptions aren't actually possible to depict (as you pointed out, Calvin), but I also noticed some "see reference picture" remarks.
My advice to the aspiring writer is, since you're already creating reference pictures, sketch out your own panels just to make sure they work. It doesn't have to be anything fancy (I do it myself, and I'm certainly no artist. See my "Comics I Drew At Work" thread for proof) and you'll easily catch things like that panel where the viewer is supposed to see the character's face, but he MUST be facing away from the viewer for the scene to make any sense.
Little things like that make the process much smoother, as the artist won't have to come back to you later to let you know it doesn't work forcing you to re-write things.
Just my 2 cents.