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Thread: SUPERMAN BLACK.

  1. powerverse Guest

    SUPERMAN BLACK.

    page # 1

    panel #1
    A faraway shot of Superman in the sky with clouds behind him.
    His cape spreading out wide. Several birds cover the foreground.

    Panel #2
    closer shot of superman’s body, only his cape and shield are recognizable.

    Panel #3
    wider as Superman passes through the birds, the birds react to his presence.

    Panel#4
    A small insert of superman’s ear.

    Panel#5
    Superman floats in midair, looking off panel at something using his telescopic vision, clouds in the back ground
    Superman “there goes my peaceful morning...”

    Panel#6
    Superman flying off in the direction of the noise , cape flapping in the wind.
    Page no.2
    Panel #1
    A large shot of the interstate with Superman in the foreground, with his back to the camera. Looking down on the swarms of State trooper cars, and bystanders. Mounds of smoke rise from an old cargo plane crashed on the interstate. Skid marks show the path the plane cut through rush hour traffic with overturned cars in its wake.
    “Look at this damage!” “Destruction, who caused this?” The caption states.
    Page no.3
    Panel #1
    Show the pilot talking to a state trooper with Superman in the background in the air between them in the distance.
    Pilot “Look man I tell you this!”
    Pilot “If it wasn’t for Supes!”

    Panel #2
    Show Superman landing in front of the pilot and the trooper with his cape up over his head and feet pointed down. As the pilot and trooper look up in awe.
    Pilot “Superman!”
    Superman “What happened here?”

    Panel# 3
    Close on the pilot and trooper’s looks of confusion...
    “What Happened!?”

    Panel#4
    Pilot and trooper staring at the camera.
    “You don’t remember?” “He doesn’t remember!”
    They both say...

    Panel #5
    wider to reveal people crowding around Superman and the other two men. The people look like zombies , blank faces, covered in blood and debris. Surrounded by fire and smoke as the gather together. Superman “Will some one tell me what happened here?”
    Page no. 4
    Panel#1
    The pilot looks up at Superman as the trooper holds his head down,
    looking at his notes. People still staring also.
    Pilot “You saved us that’s what happened?”
    Pointing towards the smoking plane.

    Panel#2 START THE FLASH BACK PANELS
    A plane in the sky over the clouds with wood stock freight & cargo
    on the side.
    Pilot “We were flying in some cargo, for a buyer who needed it ASAP!”

    Panel#3
    Inside the plane the pilot and co-pilot press buttons, check gages.
    Pilot “We were behind schedule.” “ Two hours behind.”

    Panel#4
    The left engine propeller stops spinning.
    “Our left engine just blew, went dead...”

    Panel #5
    Show the two pilots freaking out as smoke escapes the stopped
    propeller out the pilot’s window.
    “We going to die, I knew we shouldn’t have use this old -ss plane!”

    Panel #6
    The co-pilot on the radio calling for help, as the pilot fights with the wheel to stay leveled. “We called the tower like Flight 7328 may day, may day, !”
    Page no. 5

    Panel # 1
    A shot of the plane starting to lean to the left and nose dive with the left engine on fire. “We started to lose altitude fast barreling down man.” “Then”

    Panel# 2
    The pilot looks out of his window at a dark figure holding up the left side of the plane. Through the smoke all you can see is a bright red cape with a red / yellow symbol. “You came, the plane leveled out again.”

    Panel # 3
    The pilot flashing the co-pilot a thumbs up as the right engine blows. [ Caption: the right engine blew and we were barreling again]

    Panel#4
    Wide shot of the nose of the plane as the dark figure flys to the front of the nose. The camera shows a dark figure with a flowing red cape
    with red / yellow symbol.
    “You were going to try something else.”
    Page no.6

    Panel#1
    Close show the dark figure pushing against the nose of the plane. White teeth grinning , the camera shows red eyes blazing on a dark
    red caped figure.
    “You were amazing, you flew to the nose and started slowing us down.”

    Panel#2
    The pilot looking out the cockpit windows, at the dark figure through the thick smoke with the interstate in the background coming up fast.
    “I could see the interstate!”
    Panel#3
    Show the landing gear doors come halfway open and jams...
    “I tried to release the landing gear.”

    Panel #4
    A shot of the traffic down below, as drivers look up at the cargo plane coming down on top of them. Looks of fear and shock fill their faces. “We were going down like a sack of potatoes dude!”
    Page no.7

    Panel# 1
    The plane comes down into thick traffic, cars are tossed about like they were toys. The plane slides across the interstate with sparks, fire, and smoke. With the dark figure still pushing against the nose with his cape folding in the wind.

    Panel#2
    Show dark feet sinking into the asphalt, ripping up the ground behind them. “You got the plane to stop!”

    Panel#3
    A overhead shot of the interstate, the plane resting across several lanes of traffic. Skid marks and wreckage in it’s wake.

    Panel#4
    “WE were alive!” The pilots in the cockpit looking out at the turned over cars and people on the road. “Shaken but alive.”

    Panel#5
    Close up on the nose of the plane with a hand coming out of the dirt.
    Panel#6
    A head, arm, hands, climbing out of a pile of rumble.
    Page no. 8

    Panel#1
    A full shot of the dark figure with the red / yellow symbol, red eyes, red cape standing looking at the wreckage.

    Panel#2
    Close on the face of the dark figure, as something in the distance grabs his attention in the sky.

    Panel#3
    “you looked up at something and just...flew off!” The dark figure just flies off to the confusion of bystanders and the injured. In the background on the ground.
    BACK TO THE PRESENT

    Panel#4
    The pilot and the trooper with Superman still surround by angry people screaming at Superman. “You left us!” “You left us!”

    Panel#5
    Superman looking over his right shoulder with the pilot and trooper in the background. Superman “There are many Super heroes...”
    “Why say me!”

    Panel#6
    The pilot looking off panel with his hand to his chin, with Superman’s chest in the background.
    “I saw the cape, symbol, although your costume was very dark!”
    “I thought it was because of the smoke from the fire... but now I’m not sure.”
    Page no.9

    Panel#1
    A shot of the apartment building the Kents live in, at dawn with the sun slowly rasing up.

    Panel#2
    A shot of the Kent’s bedroom, Lois is still in bed. While Clark is standing at the window. Show funiture ect...

    Panel#3
    Close on Clark’s face as he blankly stares into the unknown.

    Panel#4
    The sun climbs up the side of the apt building as Clark looks into the brightness. Light shades most of his face. A voice is heard off panel “What’s the...matter?”

    Panel#5
    A shot of Clark looking back at Lois still in bed, his back to the window. “I...couldn’t sleep!”

    Panel#6
    Close on Clark’s face again...
    Clark “You know that plane crash on the interstate last week?”

    Panel#7
    Lois raises up to answer Clark’s question. Show a nice sleeping shirt.
    “Yes it was all in the papers, how you saved those two pilots lives.”
    Page no.10
    Panel#1
    Clark with his head down.
    Clark “It wasn’t me...”

    Panel#2
    Close on a confused expression on Lois’s face. “What?”

    Panel#3
    Clark turns back to the window and looks at the full sun through their windows. Clark “It wasn’t me.”

    Panel#4
    Lois is standing at Clark’s side now, looking at the sun rise.
    Lois “But the papers said.”

    Panel#5
    Clark turns to Lois
    Clark “I had just made it back from Gotham , When I heard the sirens and saw in the distance.”
    Lois “If not you then who saved them?”

    Panel#6
    Show Lois walking away from the window as Clark holds his head down with his thumb to his chin.
    Lois “What about Super girl?”
    Clark “No.”
    Lois “What about...
    Page no.11
    Panel#1
    Insert of the phone ringing as Lois reaches for it.

    Panel#2
    Lois with the phone to her head.
    Lois “Hello?” Show one of the split heads moves.
    Lois “Clark turn to channel 5!”

    Panel#3
    Lois hangs up the phone as Clark sits on the bed turning on the television with the remote.
    Clark “Who was that?”
    Lois “Pam from the office, She says that there is something going on at the United Building.”

    Panel#4
    Tight on the tube as a female reporter begins to speak.
    Reporter “This is Dolores Johnston of Eyewitness News.” “Coming to you live from the United Building, where a disgruntle ex-employee has taken his former co-workers hostage on the eighth floor.” “Claiming to have a bomb!”

    Panel#5
    Clark looks at Lois...
    Reporter “WE at this time do not know, who this man is?”

    Panel#6
    Show Clark at the closet reaching past his business suits to his Superman costume. At the back of the closet.
    Reporter “Or what his demands are?”

    Panel#7
    Back to the t.v. reporter
    Reporter “ Superman...Superman just buzzed us!” “As he flew by.”
    “The man of steel is on the case.”
    Page no.12
    Panel#1
    Clark turns around in mist of changing into his costume to look at Lois again. Suit still in his hands, blank expressions.

    Panel#2
    Tight on an anger Clark, teeth showing.
    Clark “This ends today!”

    Panel#3
    A shot of the United Shareholders Building, A high rise executive office building surround by police, flashing lights, reporters, and ambulances.

    Panel#4
    Close on a window on the 18th floor, we see a man with his back to the window pointing a gun at the people within.

    Panel#5
    New camera angle shows the inside of the office. The ex-employee and his boss stand with their backs to the window. As guns come in from off panel.
    Security “Don’t do it man!” “Put the gun down!”
    Gunman “Get back or I’ll shoot!, Get Back!”

    Panel#6
    Wide shot of three security guards with frighten employees behind them. More detail to the office is shown. Guns drawn pointing at the camera.
    Security “Mr. May weather put the gun , you have nowhere to go.”

    Page no.13

    Panel#1
    A shot of the ex-employee and his ex-boss standing at the window. The ex-employee holding the ex-boss in a head lock with his gun pointed at the security guards.
    May weather “You put down your guns, I am not leaving until I get a reason why?!” “ I gave this company 18yrs of my life... and for what!”

    Panel#2
    Close on the ex-bosses’s sweaty face.
    Ex-boss “I told you I had nothing to do with this.”

    Panel#3
    The gunman puts the gun to his ex-bosses throat as a dark figure is seen hovering at the window in the background.
    Gunman “Liar you knew this was going to happen!” “I was told you chose who was to.”

    Panel#4
    A female employee pointing over the shoulder of one of the guards.
    Female “It’s Superman!”

    Panel#5
    The gunman looks of surprise as he looks over his right shoulder a the bright red eyes outside of the window. “Huh?”

    Panel#6
    Two security guards rush the gunman as the third guard grabs the ex-boss and runs with him.

    Page no.14

    panel#1
    A shot of the gunman being held down by two guards.
    Gunman “ No it wasn’t supposed to end like this.” “Let go of me.”

    Panel#2
    An insert of the gunman reaching into his jacket and pulling out something.

    Panel#3
    One guard expression as he sees the small device in the man’s hand.
    Guard “BOMB!”

    Panel#4
    The guards wrestle with the man for the device.
    Guard “Stop him, stop him.”

    Panel#5
    Tight on three hands on the device as the button is pressed...

    Panel#6
    blank
    Page no. 15

    Panel#1
    Fire shoots out of the windows, reaction from the people below on the street. As people run from falling debris.

    Panel#2
    Superman rescues some bystanders from some falling debris. “No I’m too late!”

    Panel#3
    Show Superman launching away from the bystanders in the background. “If this other me is here why did not he stop this?”
    Superman thinks as he flies into the building.

    Panel#4
    Superman stands in mist of the smoke and damage. Bodies litter the floor with the hole from the blast behind him.
    Superman “Such Destruction!”
    “Is anyone still alive...Hello.....?”

    Panel#5
    A call for help from under some overturned files cabinets. Superman jumps in to respond.

    Panel#6
    Superman pulls the woman from danger, close on the dirty face of the office worker in Superman’s arms. “Why did you let this happen?” “You just floated there and watched us die!”

    Panel#7
    Superman looks away as the woman passes out. Superman “He just stood by, not as heroic as the first tale of him.” He thinks.
    Page no.16

    Panel#1
    The floor starts to shake around Superman and the surviving woman. Superman “ The blast has made this floor unstable, I have to find any survivors before the floor collapses on top of them.”

    Panel#2
    Superman takes the woman out the window down to the waiting paramedics.
    Panel#3
    The fire chief approaches Superman.
    Chief “How bad is it up there?”
    Superman “Several dead and the floor is starting to collapse into the 17th floor.” “I heard several faint heart beats, I have to move fast If I am to save them.”

    Panel#4
    Superman flies up the elevator in tow. “I have to move fast get as many people out as I can first.” Find my carbon copy later.” He thinks,

    Panel#5
    The sign reads 17th floor as Superman forces the doors open. Looking at the destruction all around him.
    Superman “ Hello?” Using his x-ray vision looking for survivors.

    Panel#6
    The 18th floor begins to sink into the 17th floor down on top of Superman. Looking up as the debris falls on him.

    Panel#7
    Superman digs himself out from under the debris. “This is getting me nowhere.” Insert of his ear. “I hear voices below me.” He thinks.
    Page no.17

    Panel#1
    Superman comes in through the 16th floor elevator door to find people cramped into a corner office hiding.
    Superman “Everybody it’s Superman, get on the elevator I’ll take you to safety.”
    Panel#2
    Loud metal on metal crunching sounds are heard as the 17th floor
    gives way to the 16th floor as Superman rushes the survivors on the elevator. As he looks up at the falling debris, sparking wires, sprinklers going off. Superman “ Hurry get on!”

    Panel#3
    Superman closes the door behind them to see in the elevator shaft from above collapsing down on them. And the beam he tied the elevator cord to start to crush under the weight of the people.

    Panel#4
    The elevator starts to fall as Superman holds back the debris from hitting the elevator. Superman “NOOOOO!”

    Panel#5
    Superman watches as the elevator falls out of the corner of his eyes Superman sees him “HUH” “what the...”

    Panel#6
    A dark figure hands grabs the elevator cords.

    Page no. 18

    Panel#1
    The dark figure lowers the elevator safely to the first floor.
    All Superman sees is a red flowing cape with red \ yellow
    symbol.

    Panel#2
    Superman reaches the ground blocking off the debris in the elevator shaft. To find the people seeking medical attention, the other long gone.

    Panel#3
    Days later the papers show a dark figure with an S on his chest saving lives, stopping crimes, helping the fire dept put out fires.
    Show the news paper covers with captions.

    Panel #4
    Show Lois and Clark dining at an outside resturant.
    Clark “Loot at these reports this guy is everywhere!”
    Lois “At least he’s not committing crimes right?”

    Panel#5
    Clark looking across the table at Lois. Clark “I’m sick of all these copies of me flying around.” “When will it end!” He crushes his coffee cup.

    Panel#6
    Lois looking at Clark as he cleans up the mess, she sips her coffee.
    Lois “So what did he look like?”
    Clark “It was too dark all I could see was his cape, then he was gone.” “Same as the photos of him.” Clark holds up the newspaper again.
    Page no.19

    Panel#1
    Lois and Clark’s diner is interupted by a child yelling out.
    “Look it’s Superman!”

    Panel#2
    Clark turns to looking in the direction that the child was pointing as he gets up from his seat. As he sees the dark figure flying off passed a building.

    Panel#3
    Lois with her hands up.
    Lois “ Yes go ... go get em.” “So much for a quiet day together.”
    She thinks as Clark rushes off down the street towards the end of the panel.

    Panel#4
    A shot of Superman launching off of the ground filled with determination on his face.

    Panel#5
    Show superman approaching the dark figure, just hanging there in mid-air. Superman “who are you?!” “Answer me!”

    Panel#6
    The figure flies off with Superman following after at superspeed. A black line followed by a red line.
    Page no.20

    Panel#1
    Superman stops above an open field, looking all confused. ?!??
    “Where did he go!?” Superman thinks.

    Panel#2
    Superman “AAARGH!” a massive blast of heat vision comes from off panel. Hits Superman in the back from above, forcing him down into the open field.

    Panel#3
    superman laying at the head of a body wide skid mark across the field. Superman “Show yourself!” “What do you want.”

    Panel#4
    The dark figure appears in a super flash before Superman’s eyes glowing bright red. While Superman lays with his back to the camera.

    Panel#5
    Superman’s eyes turn glowing red / split the panel between the two with eyes glowing.

    Panel#6
    Both Supermen fire on each other, a full shot of the battle.

    Panel#7
    Superman just lays unmoving before the smiling dark figure???


    STAY TUNED....................................



  2. powerverse Guest

    I wrote this some time ago. I submitted it to DC comics but they rejected it. Their loss I say.



  3. powerverse Guest

    Forgive the spelling errors please....



  4. JeffHaas Guest

    I don't think DC accepts any unsolicated scripts



  5. powerverse Guest

    true I have the official stationary to prove it...



  6. JeffHaas Guest

    I think only Dark Horse does. I can't imagine how many submissions they get a day.



  7. powerverse Guest

    Question: So how does a writer, I won't dare say YOUNG lol get a start in the biz if every time you send something out ? You get no thanx in return. Not everybody has the time or money to create their own indy press company. I know so many starving writers/ pencilers....



  8. JeffHaas Guest

    Well..from experience..you need an artist to jump on board your project. Its kind of like being spoken for in the mob or something. A good artist gets you an in. The odds of finding a company seeking new writers is very small.



  9. BrandonBarrows Guest

    Honestly, even if DC did accept unsolicited submissions this isn't professional quality and it would have been rejected, anyway.

    You haven't followed any sort of recognized structure in your script, and it's hard to read.

    The actual content isn't the worst thing I've read from an amateur writer, but you should really get a copy of Denny O'Neil's "The DC Guide to Comic Script Writing" if you're serious about wanting to write for them. They have a very specific format they want scripts in. Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics" is a good resource, too.

    As for how you get published by DC right off the bat? You don't, unless you're Dan DiDio's nephew or something.

    The best way to get published by Marvel or DC is to be published by an independent first and to do that you need to create something original, find an artist to work with (and yes, you'll probably have to pay someone since you're an unknown) and either self-publish or bang on doors until you find an independent who wants to publish your work. Even then, it's a long read to the Big Two for most people.



  10. AdamH Guest

    Powerverse,

    Some of the best information for a new comic writing is found right here on this site! Forby's Bolts & Nuts and Lee Nordling's Comics Pro Prep columns are invaluable resources. I have both of them printed out and on my shelf. Reading both of those columns will give you a good idea of the ordeals you'll have to go through, what to think about as a new writer, and give you more tools for your writing toolbox.

    Good luck!

    Adam



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