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Thread: The Nightmare Man

  1. powerverse Guest

    The Nightmare Man

    PAGE NO.1
    PANEL 1
    SHOW A DARK WET, RAINY NIGHT IN CHICAGO. SHOW THE SEARS TOWER IN THE DISTANCE.

    PANEL 2
    SHOW A WINDOW WITH RAIN SPLASHING AGAINST IT.......
    “I HAD IT ALL ONCE.....”

    PANEL 3
    SHOW A PAIR OF BINOCULARS PEEKING BETWEEN TWO CURTAINS OUT AT THE WORLD.... “A GOOD JOB... A NICE APARTMENT....”

    PANEL 4
    IN THE ROOM WE SEE A YOUNG MAN HALF SHADOWED BY LIGHTNING FLASHING AGAINST THE WINDOW. HOLDING A PAIR BINOCULARS LOOKING DOWN AT PHOTO IN HIS LEFT HAND. “AN AWESOME GIRLFRIEND!”

    PANEL 5
    CLOSE ON THE PHOTO IN HIS LEFT HAND. PICTURE OF BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN SLIGHTLY SMILING AS IF CAUGHT OFF GUARD WHEN THE PHOTO WAS TAKEN. “LIFE WAS GREAT.....”

    PANEL 6
    SHOW ONLY HIS MOUTH WITH TEETH CLENCHED TIGHT
    “BUT THEN IT WAS ALL TAKEN AWAY!”

    PANEL 7
    IN HIS ANGER, HE ACCIDENTALLY BALLS UP THE PHOTO IN HIS GRASP...
    “AND NOW THOSE THAT ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT MUST PAY!”

    PAGE NO.2
    PANEL 1
    SHOW HIM LOOKING INTO THE DARKNESS OF THE ROOM AS IF IN A TRANCE .
    “THEY TOOK MY JOB!”
    PANEL 2
    SHOW SOME OF HIS FACE SHADED BY THE LIGHT OUT SIDE OF THE WINDOW.
    “THEY TOOK MY APARTMENT!”
    PANEL 3
    CLOSE TOWARDS HIS FACE LOCKING ON HIS EYES AND TEETH.
    “THEY ...THEY TOOK MY GIRL.....”
    PANEL 4
    FLASH TO THE LOOK SHE HAD ON HER FACE AS SHE DIED.....
    “THEY TOOK EVERYTHING.....NOW I AM GOING TO TAKE EVERYTHING FROM THEM!”
    PANEL 5
    SHOW HIM LOOKING DOWN INTO HIS HAND AT THE BALLED UP PHOTO IN HIS HAND.
    “ EVERYTHING THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO ME I LOST.”
    “MY JOB.” “MY APARTMENT.” “MY GIRL.”

    PAGE NO.3
    PANEL 1
    SHOW THE YOUNG MAN UP FROM THE WINDOW BESIDE A DRESSER LOOKING THROUGH ONE OF HIS BAGS.
    “NOW I’M ALONE AND FORCED TO LIVE ON THE STREETS.”
    PANEL 2
    SHOW HIM CHECKING ROPES AND OTHER GEAR.
    “IN ALLEYS.” “IN SEWERS.”
    PANEL 3
    SHOW THE YOUNG MAN STARING AT THE WINDOW AGAIN.
    “AND THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THIS, ARE IN THAT BUILDING STRAIGHT AHEAD!”
    PANEL4
    SHOW THE YOUNG MAN BACK AT THE WINDOW, THE RAIN HAS STOPPED.
    SHOW AN OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT OF THE BUILDING OUTSIDE OF HIS HOTEL WINDOW. AS HE LOOKS ON. “JUST LOOK AT THEM!”
    PANEL5
    SHOW WHAT HE SEES IN THE OFFICE BUILDING WINDOW, WELL DRESSED PEOPLE IN AN OFFICE SETTING.
    “THEY SIT SO COMFORTABLY IN THEIR CUSHIONED CHAIRS BEHIND THEIR HARDWOOD DESKS!”
    PANEL 6
    SHOW TWO MEN STANDING AT A WATER COOLER TALKING.
    “TRYING TO KEEP THEIR EXPENSIVE SUITS FROM GETTING WRINKLED.”

    PAGE NO.4
    PANEL 1
    SHOW SECRETARIES JUST TYPING AWAY AT THEIR DESKS.
    “THEY TYPE AWAY ON THEIR HIGH PRICED COMPUTERS, IN THEIR HIGH PRICED OFFICES, DRINKING THEIR HIGH PRICED COFFEE!”
    PANEL 2
    SHOW WORKERS SHARING A LAUGH.
    “THEY ARE SO HAPPY.... THEY FEEL SO...SECURE!”
    PANEL 3
    SHOW HIM AWAY FROM THE WINDOW, IN THE SHADOW CHANGING CLOTHES. “BUT IF THEY ONLY KNEW THAT THE SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE
    WAS WATCHING THEM.....” “THEY’D BE A LITTLE LESS SETTLED.”
    PANEL 4
    SHOW HIM TYING UP A BOOT
    “THEIR WORLD WOULD BE TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN!”
    PANEL 5
    SHOW HIM SECURING THE ROPE IN A BACKPAK
    “THEY MUST PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID TO ME!”
    PANEL 6
    SHOW HIM LOADING A GUN
    “BECAUSE OF THEM, I DWELL IN THE SHADOWS.
    PAGE NO. 5
    PANEL 1
    SHOW HIM OUT SIDE CROSSING THE STREET DRESSED IN A DISGUISE
    “THE ALLEYS ARE MY HOME NOW.”
    PANEL 2
    SHOW HIM GOING AROUND TO THE BACK OF THE OFFICE BUILDING
    “I TRAVEL THE SEWERS NOW.” : I REST ON ROOFTOPS .”
    PANEL 3
    SHOW TWO MEN IN BLACK SUITS AT THE BACK EXIT DOORS.
    “THEY TOOK EVERY THING FROM ME.” “SO NOW THEY MUST BE PUNISHED!”
    PANEL 4
    SHOW THE TWO MEN RUN OFF AFTER HEARING A SOUND IN THE DISTANCE
    “ I WILL HAUNT THEM LIKE THE GHOST I HAVE BECOME.”
    PANEL 5
    SHOW THE YOUNG MAN BOUNCING FROM WALL TO WALL UP THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING TO AN OPEN WINDOW.
    “WHILE THEY SLEEP,” “DURING THEIR DAILY COMMUTE.”
    PANEL 6
    SHOW THE YOUNG MAN IN SIDE OF THE OFFICE BUILDING NOW MOVE THROUGH THE HALLWAYS. “WHEN THEY FEEL THE SAFEST.”
    PAGE NO 5
    SPLASH PAGE....
    HUGE SHOT OF THE YOUNG MAN STANDING JUST OUTSIDE OF THE WALL
    LEADING IN TO THE OPEN OFFICE AREA. WITH HIS BACK TO THE WALL.
    LOOKING OVER HIS RIGHT SHOULDER IN AT THE PEOPLE INSIDE.
    GUNS DRAWN .....
    “I AM THEIR TEACHER, THEIR JUDGE, THEIR JURY.”
    “I AM THEIR NIGHTMARE ............... :
    AND THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.....................!”
    Last edited by powerverse; Wednesday, December 01, 2010 at 11:30 PM.



  2. powerverse Guest

    This is a plot to a good friend of mine's Character. I help on story wise.



  3. desertdogg Guest

    pretty good. are you helping with the art chores as well i like how you laid out the script with the panels. iam curious on how you came up with the ideal to use seven panels on page one. were you going for more bang for your bucks or a lesser page count on the story.

    larry;]



  4. powerverse Guest

    Well desertdogg I am an awefull artist. My friend is a natural at drawing, went to school for it. The nightmare man is not the characters name (I called him that to keep my friends' characters name off of here.) I do enjoy writing and as you pointed out I need to properly pace my panels from here on out. My goal here was to present something for review. So no I had no intention of seven panels on one page, Goal is four panels per page lots of scenery.



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